Ah… Wedded bliss. The first month of marriage is an interesting one to say the least. Finally, the stress of planning the wedding is over and things are starting to go to their new normal. Not only are their new challenges if you’re not used to living with your new spouse, but there are also logistical challenges. A trial month, if you will, of figuring out this new role you now play in each others’ lives. Here’s a couple of things I learned:
Number 1 – Your spouse is a person. Wait… what do you mean they’re a person. Are you trying to tell me that my spouse is not like a third arm or leg that’s wired to do exactly what my brain tells it to do!? Actually, that is exactly what I mean. Your spouse is in fact, an individual. As crazy as this may sound, your spouse was an individual before you and they will continue to be one the rest of their lives. For example, you know that little voice inside your head that you talk to all day long. Sometimes when you’re mad at someone you use it to yell at them in your head. If you’re having a good day you even use it to come up with new ideas! Yeah, well your spouse has one too. And it does NOT communicate with your little voice. So not only does your spouse not always know what you’re thinking, but they have original thoughts themselves aside from you.
Number 2 – Your spouse does not complete you. Sorry ladies, but it’s time to put your childhood dreams of finding that one magic person put on this planet to complete you aside. Your spouse does not complete you. Their personality or characteristics may compliment yours, but they by no means, way, shape, or form complete you. You survived before them, and as hard as it may seem, you would survive without them. I’m not saying that you want to, but I guarantee that if they were gone you would still have a pulse…just saying.
Number 3 – You can have separate interests. I do not find all my husbands activities entertaining. And I can promise you that he doesn’t find all of mine entertaining either. Sometimes this difference will mean time apart, like when he goes out to play softball. Other times, we can do separate things together, like crocheting while he plays video games. Or maybe we’re feeling lazy and binge watch Gossip Girl together. Either way, it’s okay to take time apart from each other to pursue your hobbies and passions. You just need to learn how to support, even if it’s from a distance. (like I mentally support my husband while he’s playing softball and I’m in bed).
All of these things may sound obvious, but it’s funny how quickly you can forget such simple things. I’m looking forward to all that I will learn in the many more weeks, months, and years to come.